Loneliness Michael Jackson
by Ms. Apricot
Summary: Hey guys, this is a one shot story based on Michael Jackson and his loneliness, hope I made it interesting and emotive enough for you. Okay with that out the way i give you...


**Hey guys, this is a one shot story based on Michael Jackson and his loneliness, hope I made it interesting and emotive for you. Okay with that out the way i give you...  
**  
Loneliness...  
  
xxxxx

I sat on the arm of my plush Italian couch, with my head in my hands. I am surrounded by imported and original goods but right now, to me they mean nothing. Mannequins are dotted around the room with genuine smiles painted across their faces. They will never desert me, they are a perfected vision of human beings…they are what I like to call my people. Some might think me crazy but why do I give a sh*t when the world judges me anyway? Is it weird to have dolls around, one smiling on every corner? Is it strange to be a person that is so alone that they need them? Is it freaky to have never had a friend?

_Phuh! Not to me_…I'm fine without real people I prefer the silence that I get when nobody is around. It's a break from the other side of my life that is noisy, reckless and demanding. Real people will pressure you into giving up your most valued secrets. They will lie and tell you that they will never breach your trust. They hug you and kiss you and comfort you into thinking that they are faithful, but dare turn your back for a second and a dagger comes right at you.

Sometime they ask what it's like to be me but I never tell truth, all I would get is looks of pity but like I said they never mean it. They will laugh and mock me as soon as they think I'm out of earshot, I know it's true because I hear them do it. It hurts to see your so called friends completely discard your emotions and it makes you never want to talk to anybody again. It turns you bitter inside and makes you want to hurt someone else's feelings just so that they can feel for themselves how you're hurting

…Makes you want to isolate yourself…

I have done that so many times that it has become natural to me and I don't feel like I have to have anyone.

But I don't always feel satisfied with the mannequins…

I went out in a disguise today (another one of my mustached masterpieces) and I took a moment to really look around me and what I saw made me curl up inside. People that I myself have labeled as hurtful leeches, enjoying themselves. Laughing, playing, having conversations with their families and friends. I walked past a couple kissing and I froze in position. I was watching them in complete awe. Oh how I wish I had someone to hold me like that. Someone to genuinely love me. Soon they noticed me and pulled away to tell me to get lost.

's-sorry' I said and hurriedly walked on, turning back to see them glaring at me before returning to their activities. I sighed and looked around again; I managed to catch two young ladies that were sitting on a wall nearby talking amongst themselves.

'Thank you T, for everything.'

'Oh that's okay, you know I will always be there for you Chelsea, you're my best friend.'

'I love you so much! H.F.M.B.F.F?'

'Yes…' the second girl said and they hugged each other. I smiled halfheartedly…_H.F.M.B.F.F_… I wonder what that means. The smile on my face fades as I realize that I can never have such a connection with someone that no proper words were actually required. People like me don't have friends or lovers… and if we do, they are most likely fake relationships. We're just there to entertain, attend to the curtain call and that's it. That's what the public expect and it's what we give them and that satisfies everyone right?

The public like to believe that my life is perfect and everything's all dandy when you have admirers around every corner and that's what I let them believe. It's easier to suffer in silence. Better they don't know that sometime I cry of loneliness, or that I fantasize about what it would be like to normal. I continue my journey down the road and hear people laughing everywhere. Gee I haven't laughed like that for years. I think the last time must have been when I was about four…yep, a long time ago… I come across a small wall and walk over to sit by myself. I clasp my hands in front of me.

I guess I should be grateful for what I have, I bet normal people wonder what it's like to be famous…it isn't all that…but there are perks. You get to-

'Hey there…' there is a women sitting next to me leaning over to me. When did she get here? I suddenly feel funny because she's pretty. She's talking to me but I don't know how to respond. Some say I have good charisma but that only with business people and fans (where I can repeat the same greeting over and over) and when I'm on stage but they never seem to notice that I suck at interviews and I think I am actually incapable of having any form of communication with ordinary people that aren't throwing questions or phrases of admiration at me. I just sit there trying to pull myself together enough to form one simple word.

'Um…hello…' I say and I feel my palms getting sweaty. I wait for her to continue.

'I just saw you sitting here by yourself and thought I'd come over and talk to you.' I don't know how to respond so I say the first thing that comes to mind.

'What do you want?' I don't mean to be rude but it's a valid question right? She jolts her head.

'What?'

'I said, w-what do you want from me?' I'm stuttering by now, I sound all defensive like I'm afraid she's going to mug me or something. _What's the matter with me? _

'Uh…nothing…' she looks at me in _that_ way. That _he's crazy_ way, I know that look when I see it. I just need to calm down and talk to her she doesn't know who I am so it doesn't matter that I'm rich or famous.

'Okay…' I say, not really knowing how to break the ice again so instead I wait for her to say something again.

'So what's your name?' she says relieving the conversation of its awkward stage.

'Donald…' I say and leave her to say something else.

'Are you from around here?'

'Yes…' she gulps seeming uncomfortable at my one worded answers but I don't know what to say.

'You don't talk much do you?'

'No…' I say and then look down, shy because I know I look like a complete moron. She shifts slightly and I can almost read her mind. She thinks I'm so uninterested in her right now, but I'm not…just shy.

'Okay…I have to go now…see you around Donald…' I just stare at her as she leaves. Why am I so socially alienated? I get a feeling of relief when she's gone that I am not under pressure to say anything but I'm now lonely again. I look down beside me and see a little slip of paper with a number scrawled on it. She gave me her number? I picked it up and put it in my pocket, though I wasn't really intent on calling her.

I decide to go back home and so here I am, head in hands with no-one to talk to. Soon the maid comes in and smiles at me I smile back as she starts dusting. I watch her intently thinking about whether or not I should say something. I decide that I will copy what the girl I spoke to earlier said…maybe it will work.

'Hello there…' I say and the maid turns around.

'Hello Mr. Jackson' she smiles again.

'I just saw you…dusting and thought I'd talk to you…' I stop myself from slapping my own forehead. I must sound ridiculous.

'Oh yeah?' she says.

'Yeah…what's your name?'

'Angela' she says and resumes putting things in order.

'Pretty name…so, how are you?' she turns to me blushing.

'Thank you; I'm good Mr. Jackson, how about you?'

'Great…' there I go with the one worded answers, maybe I should stick to being the one to ask the questions. 'So what are you doing?' I ask though it is painfully obvious.

'Uh…cleaning for my boss…' she says with a confused look on her face.

'Oh right…' she giggles and I smile, _this isn't half bad._ 'Hey well why you don't take the evening off?' she turns again her face lighting up.

'Mr. Jackson, are you sure?'

'Yes and please…call me Michael…' she smiles widely and collects her cleaning equipment. She drops her stuff a few times and I stare at her. I have been told that my stare makes people uncomfortable but I can't help it, if I'm fascinated…ill stare. She blushes and sighs clearly embarrassed at her own nervousness I stifle a chuckle and stand up. When I'm standing she cowers and looks down to the ground.

'Are you okay?' I ask with one raised eyebrow.

'y-yes, it's just that…up close, you're a l-little intimidating…' she gulped just realizing that she may have insulted him. 'I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to o-offend you' she stammered I just smile at her. I'm feeling confident for some reason and I'm not shy to talk for the present.

'You didn't offend me, sorry if I made you uncomfortable…would you like a hand?' she bites her lip, looks to the ground and nods.

'If you don't mind.' I shake my head and walk over to her, she takes a deep breath when I'm near her and it makes me conscious of how I smell but I bend down and help her lift her load. We take it over to her trolley and I set it down smiling again. 'Thank you Mr. jack- uh…Michael.' She says shyly.

'You're welcome Angela… goodbye.'

'Bye-bye…' she says and I walk past her up to the kitchen. I now realize that talking doesn't have to be awkward, you just have to take the time to speak. My problem used to be that I just used to talk to everyone because I was so desperate, and I would trust anyone in an instant. That's why I got hurt so many times by so many people I guess, and so it led me to keep my mouth shut entirely. But now I'm learning that it's not healthy because I feel much better now that I spoke to someone.

I want to talk to someone new. I think as I walk into the kitchen there are two of my staff talking, they don't notice me enter and I listen to them.

'I just wish that he was more social… I like to have communications, I'm talkative and it would be great to be able to talk to my boss but, it's difficult.' _Oh their talking about me?_

'Yes I agree, sometimes he will just walk past me like I'm invisible and I would like to be noticed by like the greatest man in history! Sometimes I even take double shifts just so there's a better chance he'll actually stop and talk to me, even if it's just to say a quick hey. You know I've been working here for 6 months now and I don't even think he knows my name.'

'I know same here. I've been to one of his concerts and he has amazing charisma on the stage and he's in tune with very thing but when you see him at home he's just-'

'_Away…_' they both turn to look at me and then blush.

'Sorry sir, we'll get right back to work…' the first one says and goes back to the stove. 'Would you like dinner?' she asks and I shake my head.

'I'm not hungry so you can both have the evening off if you wish' _Geez if I keep letting people home I'll have no staff left_, I think. They both look at me; they look surprised for some reason. The one that said he wanted me to notice him nods still blushing and takes his hat off. I look at him. 'Hey' I say and he looks up at me with a gleam in his eye.

'Uh, hello…Sir.'

'Call me Michael.' He has a wide smile on his face now and stands still waiting for me to say something else. 'What's your name?' I ask.

'Johnny.' He says his smile shows no sign of getting any smaller.

'And you took extra shifts just to talk to me?' I ask and I see him get embarrassed.

'Uh…yeah…' I stand up again ready to exit again.

'Well you didn't have to take extra shifts to do that…all you had to do was say hello…' I say and walk back out again. It was true, I would have been more than happy to talk to anyone that bothered to say hello to me, I turn around in time to catch Johnny with his head thrown back and his arms up in triumph the other cook threw her bag over her shoulder giggling. I smiled and reached in my pocket for the number the girl I met had left me. I took a chance and dialed her up, she answered and we talked for a long time. I managed to find something to say and even apologized for my quietness earlier.

She still didn't know who I was and from that day on we had spoken to each other again and again. I befriended her and we went out together, I of coarse still in my disguise as Donald. She hadn't once been over to my 'mansion' so my secret was kept safe. Eventually that friendship spread onto other things and we liked each other more and more.

We fell in love and once she told me her feelings for me I took her back to Neverland for the first time. She almost fainted when we drove in through the gates. She tugged on my arm explaining that she was a big fan of Michael Jackson and that led me to want to test her. I explained that we were close friends and that we got along. Spinning this whole tale of how we met backstage and all that. She nodded in awe and squeezed my arm as I let her take a seat in my living room.

I told her I'd be right back and that I was going to use the bathroom but id send Michael right in. She squealed excitedly as I rushed into my bedroom and took my disguise off then walked casually back down the stairs and into the living room. She stifled a scream as I shook her hand almost rolling over laughing. I sat next to her and we began talking, I was getting to know her all over again. I soon got closer to her and purposely started to flirt with her. She coughed uncomfortably and I scooted over to her then touched her leg.

'You don't need Donald, when you can have me… look, I have riches and a mansion and fame, I have everything and it can be yours too. Ditch him… come on, stay with me.' I say and she narrows her eyes.

'What kind of friend are you? I'm sorry Mr. Jackson I don't care how rich or famous you are… I love Donald.' My heart was leaping inside.

'But doesn't the money and everything sound better to you?'

'Of course it's appealing but I love Donald for who he is, not just because he has stuff!' I jump up and she flinches before I hug her. 'Hey! Let go you have no rig-' she starts.

'YES! I love you Cassandra!' I say and she looks appalled. 'I love you so much! You actually love me for me…' I sing and jump around the living room, _she loves me for me!_

'Uh Mr. Jackson? I don't know what your problem is bu-'

'Cassy! I'm Donald!'

'What?'

'It's me!'

'Yeah right… look it was nice to meet you but I really have to leave could you tell Donald that I'll be waiting outside? Please?'  
'No, look I'll show you!' I say and grab her by the hand rushing of upstairs to my room. When we get to the door she snatches her hand away.

'What are you doing? I am most certainly not coming into your bedroom Mr. Jackson!'

'Okay stay there. I say and then turn around rummaging in my disguise case. I put on the familiar mask and mustache on, then the hat and turn around. She gasps and drops to her knees.

'Your Michael Jackson…' she said and I nod ecstatic. '…your Michael Jackson? YOUR MICHAEL JACKSON!' she screams and covers her face. 'Oh my gosh, why didn't you tell me? Your Michael freaking Jackson!'

'Okay this may sound weird but I did it to be sure that you really loved me and not this.' I say gesturing towards the house and then taking off the mask to gesture at myself. She takes a minute to breathe and then I kneel down to kiss her. 'I love you Cassy'

'I-I love you t-too Donald!" she says and then jumps up wrapping her legs around my waist. I laugh and then carry her back into my room and- well…I think you can guess what happened next…but moving on.

xxxxx

Anyway, for once in my life I was certain that the world did contain genuinely faithful people and I had one right here. For years to come I showered her with gifts and she stayed faithful. I told her my deepest secrets and she never told another soul. She moved in with me and we started a family. We were happy.

And now here I am again, sitting on the arm of my plush Italian couch, I'm all alone until the door opens and in walks my beautiful wife and my two beautiful kids. I kiss her and then each one of my children, then look around the familiar room. It is empty of all mannequins because I am happy to say I don't need them anymore.

God sent me an angel to ease my loneliness and now I only cry of happiness instead. I have someone to confide in and my secrets no longer travel the world. Now whenever I walk inside the house and past my staff I make sure I say hello to them and I'm kind to them. My life has changed for the better because I realized that I couldn't live alone. Just because you get hurt or betrayed it doesn't mean you should isolate yourself, that's what I did and it got me nowhere. It just means that even though it may be hard, you should try and overcome it and find that special someone that won't betray you.

Cassy comes over to me and sits on my lap and I hug her closely. I look up at her and smile.

'K.F.M.B.W?' she grins back at me.

'Yes…' she says and bends down to kiss me. The whole room seems to light p for a second and I smile against her lips, she pulls away and stands up holding my sons hand. I hold my daughter.

'Come on its time for bed…'

'Daddy do we have to?' they whine in their cute little voices I just chuckle.

'Yes…' we all move towards the door and Cassy walks out first. I stop in the door way and look back once again on what used to be my room of despair; it had changed from a place of bad memories to an area that I will now fill with good ones. I smiled inside and then flicked the light off, closing the door behind me.

xxxxx

**Hope you liked i know the story was a little rushed but i wanted to make it as short as possible while getting all the important bits in too so... Anyway did it make you feel something? Loool comments please.**


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